Fallout 4: Edgy Blood Edition
Introduction
I loved Todd Howard. He was my waifu.
I also accepted him as my god.
However, one fateful day would change all of that.
The Email
I came home after a long day of kindergarten, expecting to see my mother and father there. To my surprise, they weren't, so I had the house all to myself.
The first thing I did was check on my dad's computer to see where he kept all his porn (Seriously? Who the fuck downloads porn these days? Fuckin' plebs.). Secondly, I checked my Hotmail. I almost came as soon as I saw the email. It was from Todd Howard! He was offering me a "Fallout 4 Super Deluxe Ultra Expensive as Fuck Edition" for free! Even though the email did seem almost to good to be true, I accepted it anyways, since it was from my lord Todd Howard.
It Arrives
Finally, it was here. I could feel myself getting hard when I saw the nice box that it came in. I immediately ran to the basement to load it up on my Ouya.
That's when I noticed the first odd thing.
It took 48 hours to install. That meant I had to go to kindergarten for two days without spending my time on more important things first, like playing this game. After those two, torturous days, I finally got to play. I thanked the Todd Howard gods before playing.
The First Session
When I got to the character creation screen, I knew what to do. I had to make my character look like the so-called "Lord Gaben". I needed to make sure he knew his place. I needed to make sure he was only a pawn to Todd Howard, meant to be controlled and played like I would do in Fallout 4. I also made sure to name my character "Lolis4evr" since I want more people to appreciate Lolis and teach them that it's perfectly ok to be sexually attracted to them.
When my character exited vault 111, I wanted to be excited, but instead, I saw some spooky shit. I saw more blood than I should in a fallout game. I saw blood on the houses, on the street, and in many other places. The one thing that really spooked me, however, was that I saw two skeletons in sexual positions. I was so spooked that I had to put the game down and take a well-deserved rest from 12 hours of gaming.
The Next Day at Kindergarten
When I arrived at school the next day, that's when I knew I got into some deep shit with myself. I started to perceive everyone at school as Feral Ghouls. I thought the only thing I could do was to find something that could count as a weapon and kill everything in sight. I managed to find a strong, extra sharp pencil and then I continued on to get the job done. After I killed every Feral Ghoul in the school, I saw dead children everywhere and realized what I had just done. I had commited one of the most edgiest crimes anyone could commit.
I knew what I had to do.
I had to run home to play some more Fallout 4
The Second Session
When I played this time, I noticed something. The blood and gore in the game was more hyper-realistic than I remember in previous installments. Using the VATS to take out some enemies revealed their skeletons when I saw their gore. It was spooky.
What I saw next however, would disturb me forever.
I saw my waifu, Todd Howard, on the screen. He told me that I was playing Fallout 4: Edgy Blood Edition, and that playing this would cause me to see spooky shit for the rest of my life.
Next, I heard sounds coming from upstairs.
The End
Soon, I realized that my home was being raided by a SWAT team. They captured me and put me in a room. They used a time machine to take me to a place that would kill me. I saw dinosaurs everywhere. I realized that I got the death penalty for being a horrible person. The dinosaurs then began to brutally kill me.
This edition of Fallout 4 is out there, believe me. If you come across it, you're screwed as fuck.